All By Myself

There was a time in my mommy life that I would have done nearly anything for some time alone.  I had to go for five-day training out of town several years ago, and I remember as the trip approached, I felt as though my entire sanity hung on me getting out of town for a few days.  Alone.  That was around the time of the most difficult year.

Something changed within the last couple of years and I no longer feel that way about out of town trips alone.  I do not know why, maybe it is because I get to take them at least once a year (yes, I am spoiled!), or because I am already away from the kids on most weekdays, or maybe mommyhood is just easier now, a combination of me being far more zen-like (te he he) and the kids getting older and the constantness of it all calming a bit.  I no longer feel like I need to get away. (And, yes, I do know that many of my mommy friends are throwing virtual darts into my back right now.)  Do not get me wrong, there are still times I lose patience and I get tired of hearing “mom” 12,000 times and I resort to having the kids call me Esmerelda.

But in the last few years, out of town trips cause me anxiety in the week leading up to the trip. I do not feel guilty, I think it is good for mental health to have some time away, but I just feel nervous about leaving, like what if something bad happens while I am gone.  And then there is all the work to make sure the family is properly prepped for my departure.

I am going to Chicago this weekend for a bachelorette party.  I know I will have a GREAT time once I get there.  But it is May, and apparently the only acceptable weekend to do anything in May is THIS weekend.  While I am gone, I will miss 3 birthday parties, 3 soccer games, a t-ball practice, a baby shower, a 5k at a distillery, and possibly other stuff that I forgot to write down.   Getting the family ready to face the weekend without me has been no picnic.  I  have RSVP’d no to one birthday party and the baby shower, purchased and gave gifts ahead of time for all the parties, recruited my sister-in-law, mom, and brother to help with the kids in my absence, and Mark has had to take time off work. And I have made two mid-week trips to the store to make sure everyone will get fed over the weekend.

And once I realized how many people I need to make things run efficiently in my absence, I think I must be one hell of a woman and I deserve this weekend alone!  Look out Windy City; you are going to have one crazy momma on the loose!

About jillo31

I always wanted to write the great American novel. I've come to the realization that that may not happen. Instead, I'm going to write about my life as a working mom to three boys. I figure in ten years, I won't remember what these days are like. I want to record my everyday victories and struggles.
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