Today is my day off work. I was awoken at 6:20 AM to the sounds of my darling Colin screaming, “Mama! Maaaaaaaaaa-Ma!” I rolled out of bed and headed to the stairs when the screaming stopped. I thought that maybe he went back to sleep and I retreated back to my bed, but no sooner had I got back in bed, he started to yell again. I thought maybe I could snuggle him in the recliner and we could both go back to sleep, but that hope was dashed when I walked into his room and saw him holding onto the crib rail and jumping as high as he could, up and down, boing, boing, boing. Brady heard all the raucous and then he was awake too.
I thought about skipping my 20 minute Jillian Michaels workout since it is pretty hard to do with the kids awake, but I decided to try anyway. I gave Brady my phone so that he could play games and Colin a cup of juice. Brady decided to go on my Meijer app instead, and spent the next 20 minutes torturing me by asking if he could clip coupons for things like fitness watches, electric pencil sharpeners, and smoke detectors, among other things. Colin tried to keep up with my exercise routine and there is something hilarious about a chunky baby lying on his belly looking at you smiling, thinking that he is actually in plank position and working as hard as you are.
After breakfast, I made perhaps one of the worst decisions of my life. I decided to combine the back-to-school shopping with my grocery shopping with three kids in tow. Now, either trip could prove to be overwhelming by itself, but combining them together was a serious gauntlet.
We started at the back to school section. I was befuddled looking at two lists from two different schools, trying to make sure I bought the correct crayon and glue stick count. All the while, the older boys were running through the aisles asking to buy things that were on neither list. After a time, I realized that Colin was grabbing all the things I put in the basket and throwing them out of the cart, so I had to move him to the red bench that is attached to the back of a few precious Meijer carts. (The kids know when we go to Meijer to look out for red benches and if they see one, they yell at the top of their lungs, “Red Bench!” ) I relented, and let them each buy an extra pencil case for home and Brady bought (yet another) combination lock that was not on the list. He had clipped a coupon on my Meijer app, after all. I put my foot down over another thermos.
I spent the next half hour going round and round with Brady about why I was not buying another thermos. He ended up getting very frustrated and yelling, “You keep saying budget and I don’t know what that means!” So then I explained about a budget and then he spent the next half hour pestering me if I would buy him the thermos NEXT Friday when the magical budget was reset. The rest of the trip was a series of me saying things like, “Do you want me to run over your foot with the cart again?” (that was an unfortunate accident) and “Look, the only thing I am concerned about is getting out of this store with a shred of sanity,” and older people stopping to tell me what great “helpers” I had. At one point, I had walked away from the cart to grab something off a shelf when I heard a crash. I looked up to see Sullivan pushing the cart into a wire rack display of A1 sauce. I was just thankful he did not run it in to the display of wine that was on the other side of the aisle. By the time we were checked out, I thanked the cashier for her patience with all of this (arms waving around me.) My only consolation was that the kids would be back to school soon and Colin and I will be shopping alone.
By the time I got home, I felt as if I had run 10 miles and I really needed a nap. I thought back to yesterday when I woke the kids up at 6:00 AM by blasting “The Battle Hymn of The Republic.” Well, you know what they say about paybacks.