I Am Not Sorry

My friend posted a link to this blog. I read it. My first response was: Hmmm, I do not feel sorry. Am I a traitor to my gender?

I do not feel sorry, though. If you look at the demands placed on a working mother, it is ridiculous. Laughable even. We are supposed to be brilliant in the board room, always available to our employer, while being a full-time mom in less than half the time. Oh, and we are supposed to look like super models. I actually remember being in college, diligently studying for my career, and wondering how in the world I would ever work AND be a mother. I was not even dating anyone at the time. When the time came to work AND be a mother, I looked at the demands and I said, “Screw it.”

I accepted a long time ago that I cannot do everything and I do not feel sorry about it. I am in constant motion for at least 16 hours a day. I give everything I can to my family and my career. Is it enough? Honestly, some days it is not, but it is all I have to give.

The me-before-kids would surely have a PhD by now, the top 10% in my field at something. I am not. At best, I am mediocre at my job. I cannot read every research article that comes out, I cannot further my education at this time, I cannot commit any more time to my work right now. I am okay with that.

The mom-that-I-would –like-to- be would create Pinterest-inspired Valentines, instead of store-bought. She would make her own chicken nuggets instead of buying frozen. She would always have time to sit down and play Go Fish, and she certainly would not have at least two baskets of unfolded clothes sitting in the living room at all times.

And I do not look like a super model.

I cannot do it all and I am not sorry about it. My house is a mess, my kids are sometimes forced to entertain themselves, and I have made no advancements in my career. I do not hold myself to perceived standards, only my own (and I go kind of easy on myself.)

I wish that all mothers, whether or not they work outside of the home, would be so easy on themselves. Life is short. If you are working from morning until night, you should in no way ever feel like a failure or sorry that you cannot do it all.

This is what happens when you allow a 16 month old to feed himself so that you can simultaneously clean the house, attend a conference call, and exercise:  food becomes hair styling product.

This is what happens when you allow a 16 month old to feed himself so that you can simultaneously clean the house, attend a conference call, and exercise: food becomes hair styling product.

About jillo31

I always wanted to write the great American novel. I've come to the realization that that may not happen. Instead, I'm going to write about my life as a working mom to three boys. I figure in ten years, I won't remember what these days are like. I want to record my everyday victories and struggles.
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