I am THAT person.
I scooted out of work a little early and went for a pedicure. I was very absorbed in reading Cosmo for most of it, but toward the end, I heard one of the employees ask the lady next to me when she was due. It turns out she is pregnant and due in two weeks with her first baby.
I asked her how she was feeling. She has bad heartburn. I gave her my sympathy as I had experienced horrible heartburn with my first two pregnancies. I had to bite my tongue to leave it at that. I always feel this need to reach out to moms-to-be and warn them about what is to come, I guess because I was caught completely off-guard by the not-so-pretty side of being a new mom. Leading up to the birth of my first son, I could not imagine feeling anything other than excitement and joy after the birth. And I did feel a lot of joy and excitement, but I also felt a lot of dread, sadness, and anxiety in those first few weeks. As my husband wheeled me out of the hospital, I remember thinking that I could not believe that they were letting me take the baby home because I had no idea what I was doing.
I think people tried to warn me. I was cocky though. Women have been having babies for thousands of years and if they figured it out, I would, too. When people would tell me that the baby would change my life, I wanted to punch them in the face. Actually, when I was pregnant, I wanted to punch pretty much everyone in the face. I seriously considered getting a shirt printed with “I am due Nov 5. We do not know the gender. Yes, I am huge and will probably go past my due date. I feel great.” because I got so sick of answering the same questions on a daily basis. I settled for a shirt printed with Pregzilla and a picture of pregnant reptile. Because I know how annoying talking to strangers, or anyone, can be when you are pregnant, I try to keep my questions and comments to a minimum.
She asked me if I felt like it was going to be any day when I got to 38 weeks. I told her that everyone was sure that I would go early because I was so huge but that I went past my due date all three times. Then I pulled out my phone and showed her a picture of me at around 39 weeks. I have no idea why I did that. Weirdo alert. She was impressed that I was able to lose all that weight and I told her that I run a lot. She told me she was starting couch to 5k after she has the baby.
That is when I got really weird. I told her that it was a great idea and that it was important to take time for herself for her own sanity, and that it is sometimes hard to be home with a new baby all day, and to not feel guilty to leave the baby with someone for 30 minutes, and when you nurse you feel like you are the only one who can take care of the baby but her husband is completely capable. I think the verbal diarrhea ended there. She probably wanted to punch me in the face and she will not even remember a word I said when she really needs it.
I probably should have given her my blog address because THAT would not have been weird at all.