Why do kids immediately want to talk to you as soon as you are on the phone? I was attempting to have a conversation with my own mom this morning and, all of the sudden, the kids realized I was in the room and they would not stop talking to me until I hung up the phone, at which time they returned to ignoring me. (I believe the same rule holds true for attempting to use the bathroom.) So, I think I agreed to pick up my grandma and go for dinner at my parents’ tonight. I hope I didn’t say I would bring anything, it’s hard to remember anything from our conversation because of the constant distractions.
Later in the morning, I attempted to call the cable company to repair a box that stopped working nearly a week ago. I finally decided to call once I realized that all of our DVR’d stuff is not available without that box. It’s hard when I can’t put on Phineas and Ferb in a pinch to keep the kids quiet (see above.)
Before I even called, I told the kids I was making a phone call and they need to be quiet. I called the 1-800 number and the automated voice began: “We see that you are calling from 248-250…”
Suddenly Sully came into the kitchen demanding a frozen yogurt. I held the phone away from my mouth and whispered, “Okay, I’ll get you one.”
“No,” he screamed, “I want to get it!”
The automated voice stopped. “Okay, please wait.”
What? I’m not sure what menu option I (Sullly) chose. I hung up and started again.
At almost the exact same spot, where the automated voice was repeating my phone number, Sully demanded that I open the frozen yogurt.
The automated voice continued, “Okay, please wait.”
Once again, I had no idea what option Sully had chosen with his screaming, so I had to hang up and start again.
I very rarely let the kids eat in their bedroom but desperate times call for desperate measures. I sent them to their bedrooms with frozen yogurts and told them not to come out until I told them it was okay.
I dialed the 1-800 number once again and started from the top. I finally got to the point where I told the automated voice that we needed a repair. It sent some kind of signal to the box and it determined that a service call was necessary. Just when it was asking me what day/time I wanted to set up the service call, here comes Sully again. He has impeccable timing. Afraid to even whisper and unwittingly set up a service call for three weeks from now, I remained silent but gave him the most intense skunk eye ever. He must have got the picture because he remained quiet and the automated system did not jump to another menu. Victory!
In the beginning of these calls, they always ask what language you want. I believe they should add a setting for people who have children in the house that would somehow recognize the voice of the caller, and only the voice of the caller, for menu prompts. This may be my claim to millions.