I’m overwhelmed right now, overwhelmed at home, overwhelmed at work. It’s nothing new or shocking. I think if you’re human, you will always have moments, days, weeks when you feel like you’re barely keeping your head above the water.
This week has been very trying and I can tell it’s getting to me by my short temper. I first noticed it on Sunday, when my friendly reminder to all the guys in my house to put their dirty clothes in the hamper (not on the floor) wasn’t as friendly as it usually is. I noticed again yesterday when I snapped at Mark because he had the audacity to tell me that the sour cream was bad. I knew for sure I was feeling the effects of stress this morning, when I nearly ripped Mark’s head off when he told me to go back to bed instead of getting up early to clean up the kitchen, because I didn’t get to it last night.
This morning I woke up feeling the opposite of prepared for the day ahead. Normally, when I feel like that, I put in for a day or two off work and spend some time alone, doing nothing productive, and then I feel refreshed and ready to get back at it. Time off work isn’t a possibility at the moment so I must continue putting one foot in front of the other, at least for now.
The morning was typical. I asked Brady to get dressed at least 10 times, I set my alarm 30 minutes early and still managed to leave 10 minutes late, I tried to hurry everyone out the door and had completely forgotten to put shoes on Sully. But there was one small moment this morning that was atypical. Trying to get Sully out of bed is ridiculous; it’s gotten to the point that I actually dread it. This morning, I steeled myself for battle as I walked into his room, holding a cup of juice as my peace offering. He was already sitting up in bed and he said, “I want to get up, Mommy.” I almost wept with relief.
All day long, as problem after problem arose and I could feel the stress bubbling up inside of me, I kept thinking back to that one beautiful moment when my sweet Sullivan was sitting up in bed with his crazy bed head, agreeable as any child could ever be. I basked in the sunny glory of that moment all day long. It reminded me that while it is sometimes wise to prepare for the worst, there is always reason to hope for the best.