No, I’m not talking about getting back to pre-pregnancy weight. I made it last week. Okay, out of the last ten times I weighed myself, the scale read my pre-pregnancy weight once. I’m counting it. Go me. What I’m talking about is the massive shedding of hair that occurs several months after the baby is born.
There are many pleasant things that accompany the post partum period: finally meeting your bundle of joy, being able to breathe again, regaining control over your bodily functions (maybe.) There are some unpleasant things: sleep deprivation, violent mood swings, afterpains. While we are on the topic, I didn’t know that the afterpains got worse with each kid until after my third. I decided then and there I was retiring my uterus. I remember learning that your body releases some kind of hormone that makes you forget the pain of labor, I don’t think that applies to afterpains because I remember exactly how miserable those first few days were.
Of all the unpleasantries of the post partum period, I hate the massive hair loss the most, even more than afterpains. I feel I should be exempt. I already have extremely fine hair and I should get to keep whatever sad, pathetic hairs I have. Plus, I’m not even one of those people who get to rock awesome pregnant hair; my hair just looks a little less sad and pathetic when I’m pregnant. And, I hate that every morning, I have to clean up a 6 foot radius after blow-drying my hair. I find clumps of hair everywhere, and sometimes they resemble spiders, and I don’t like spiders.
I do, however, recognize that this is the second to last step in returning to pre-pregnancy form. The final step will be weaning sometime in the next 7 months or so. This is my last (planned) baby, so as much as I detest the post partum shed, it does make me mourn a little bit for closing this chapter in my life. I’m only mourning a little bit, not enough to consider having another baby (maybe.)